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Entries in Heart (2)


Dark Days


Have you ever wanted to say anything abusive to someone you love because of a bad day?

I have and I have. 

I love playing the victim because in my mind, I’m allowed special rights to treat people badly.  I deserve these rights because the world has treated me badly.

I call it the Dark Day Parasite that enters my body for some reason or another.

Maybe the traffic sucked this morning and with all the stop and go, I spilled coffee on my shirt.  I was late for a meeting and was screamed at by my partners.  The parasite is starting to grow and I’m noticing more problems. Computers are slow, dropped cell phone calls, lazy clerks at the store. The parasite has now entered my heart and I need to get rid of it.

I get to treat someone I love badly because they are close to me, they should understand!  I pass the poison to them and I feel better but they now have to get rid of it.  And the cycle continues because of a little stain on my shirt.   


Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality. 

~ John Gardner





Life: Hey, you!

You: What?

Life: Why is everything half-assed with you these days?

You: What do you mean?

Life:  Oh Geez, really? OK, Einstein, let me spell it out for you.  You mope around with your lip stuck out, giving me this half-hearted effort in just about everything you do.  

You: Oh, that. I didn’t think anybody noticed.

Life: Listen, everybody notices when a whiny-ass walks into the room. 

You: So?  Let me guess, you have some tried and proven method to make it all better? Heard it.  Leave me the hell alone.

Life:  Good, I see that I’ve touched your little button.  Now that I have your attention, why don't you try this:  “Don’t do anything unless you can give it all your heart.”

You: But some of the things I’m doing now are boring.

Life: Damn, did you smoke a ton of pot in high school? Come on, I’m sure you can figure out what to do about that!

You: Let me guess:  I should change something.

Life: DAMN RIGHT YOU CHANGE SOMETHING!  And keep changing until it’s fun…even if you have to change EVERYTHING.